Alphabet by Dilute

 

This is a math rock song by a band called dilute I love this song, it's calm and

peaceful in a way, but it has a radicality and a mystery to it that really shouldn't be there

but refuses to leave. It makes me think of Lectus and Ether and this is one of the songs I use to write them. I kind of want it on the commercial for the animated version of their comic if I ever go that far with it.

 

Needs more love.

PerNoWriMo

Well, if you've been following my NaNo journey, you know that it didn't quite reach its destination.

Which is actually kind of weird for me, because if there's one commitment to myself I take seriously, it's NaNo.


So i spent the whole day sitting in an internal soul shark cage, waiting for the disappointment and anger and self hate and disgust to come biting.


Boy did it ever.


I couldn’t even believe myself. I had shortchanged myself, and I wasn’t even sure how it happened. Life crushed the breath out of me, and I completely allowed it.

Well, I can’t say I’m past those feelings, but I eventually realized that God loved me and I still had my family and friends and my pretty things and all my life and my soul (even if it was a self-abusing little numbskull), and it would all be ok. I asked myself, how exactly would this be ok?

I stared at my soul stupidly, and replied that I didn’t have an answer to that, but if I know God, this is not the end of anything.

Then my soul remarked that it was certainly the end of NaNo. Troll.

But then I thought, wait just a darn minute! It may be the end of National Novel Writing Month, but Personal Novel Writing month is just beginning!


And so, ladies and gentleman, December is now Personal Novel Writing Month, for all of you whom life knocked off your feet in November. Same goal, none of the formality. It’s actually a bit more of a challenge if you think about it; you have to rely on yourself for the 50% +/- of the focus you formerly gave to the constructs of NaNo. I do recommend, however, that if you feel like joining me and all, you let someone else know, so they can help keep you on track and celebrate with you when you succeed.

50,000 word novel, here we come. :)

Writing Music: Space Lion by Yoko Kanno

Mood: epic, meditative, longing, ethereal, "laid back"

Type: Jazzy, chanting, mixed (basically, Yoko Kanno XD)

Scenes I've used it for: Right now? Just the synopsis (NOT against, the NaNo rules, by the way), just to get things going. Later, probably some more specific stuff.  Really, though a nice composition in and of itself, it's just a nice atmospherical sort of background sound. It's just got the proper kind of quality to it for my kind of story. 

Posting for Posting's Sake...

It is LATE. But I can't sleep, I have writing to do! I would sacrifice nearing everything for that. Sadly, sometimes my own impulsiveness and obsessiveness gets in the way.
*sigh*
Sometimes, I just don't like myself. I really don't. No, I despise myself sometimes, and it burns me up inside. My own skin scalds caustically into my flesh, flesh into bone, and sometimes I just sit still and wait for it to burn me all the way down to my molecules and atoms, and disintegrate me. Maybe it'd stop aching so darn much.

It's not like there aren't times when I'm positively manic with glee or truly pleased with being myself. But there are so many times when its just a dull sort of numb at best and at worst I just want to curl up inside of my shell and be gone (sorry, I've got TMNT on the brain* XD). I don't know if I have an answer to this situation. I really just keep praying and watching TV and reading and drawing and writing.

Yeah, just keep writing...



:)

*I'm currently craving 80's Cartoons, gritty b&w comics, turtle action figures, and pizza. Hmm, pizza...that would be nice right now...

Dory gif courtesy of this place over here and this one over there.

Pizza gif courtesy of this place right here...

24 Hours and 13 Days

Here.

Well, this is kind of a rotten time to mention either of these, since one's over halfway over and the other is two days away, but yay, I'm doing October Poetry Writing Month (write a poem a day; don't worry, I have plenty of catching up to do as well) and 24 Hour Comic, where you write a 24 page (plus cover, so 25 page) comic in 24 hours!

Yes I am crazy. And you can be too! Join the madness!

Just kidding (sort of), but seriously, you should check it out. It's not too late just yet...

Here.

Alleyway Vignette, an Excerpt

I stumbled into the side of the alley way, rubbing my shaking shoulder against the rough, cold walls. I shuddered. Dropped to the ground. Collapsed like a cheap table with too much weight placed upon it. I moaned. A pathetically long, wailing moan, wishing someone would take notice.

I whimpered softly and fell silent, listening for an answer in the bustling darkness, feeling the people all around me shuffle through the night. The streets ached and throbbed with a couple million hearts beating, a couple thousand hearts breaking, and a couple hundred hearts stopping in the cool, ridged, easy darkness. People living and moving and working and waiting and crying and sighing and laughing and screaming and dying. The world was loud enough without my voice. The world was quite full enough without me.

I was still and quiet, feeling the place pulling me in. Feeling my presence being erased, breath by breath...

I screamed.

I shrieked at the night, as if someone was listening for me, as if the city could hear my cry.

 It wasn't until I emptied my lungs and lay there, gasping, that I realized the truth; the city could hear me. But it did not care.

From The Deviant Begotten of God [working title]

© rrc. Eyes only please!

Node Poetry

(No, this isn't it. Well, sorta.
There's a link in the picture. and one below. The links will explain everything.
...Hopefully.)


Wild form, really. Wild.
I first learned about it from the above link (not in the picture). Really sweet, in my opinion. I look forward to trying it out myself sometime soon.

Expect more on this later, definitely. ;)

P.S. If you are confused by the relationship between the pic and the subject (not just to look cool, readers. not just to look cool.)...Ok, ok, if there is someone out there reading my work, and they happen to be confused, and care enough to comment about it...let me know. I will post a response. And if you're not confused....let me know. You win. Winner(s) get something spiffy! :D

NaNoWriMo

Well, since it's there and I'm interested (not to mention participating), I thought I might as well blog about it.

NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, is a major event 200000+ writers strong, where authors and writers of all types, with varying amounts of experience, band together to write a 50000 word novel throughout the month of November. 30 days, 50000 words. It's really rather a smaller book, but a huge undertaking, true.  At about 1700 words a day, it's no small commitment. However, it is also a worthy commitment for any writer (though specifically novel writers, but not exclusively; more on that later) who's spirit is willing, but who's flesh is weak; who want to write a novel with all their hearts, but find it difficult to accomplish while maintaining the stressful daily life of the modern age. Or perhaps they just like a challenge, or need an outlet (or excuse) with which to properly write their full length story at last. Or perhaps they had a crazy dream when they were twelve and dove head first into a monstrous undertaking without a rational thought in their heads, despite having Lifezilla snorting radioactive flame over their singed heads and snapping ravenously at their heels. Perhaps.

Anyway, I would have liked to keep my own commitments, but I couldn't pass up an opportunity to connect with other authors and have a pretty little word counter dashboard on my computer screen. :) So I joined this site here and now I'm totally swell. Oh yeah. And you could be too. (Believe me, the site is quite useful; it reminds you of the commitment, you can chat with people and encourage each other. And there are numerous resources that the site offers to aid you in your novel weaving journey to the land of The Not Yet Written! [Okay, I really need to get to bed now...])

Also, now is perhaps a good time to mention the Rebels. You say, "Do I have to write an novel? What do you mean by novel?" Well, they define "novel" as a lengthy work of written fiction, but some people have ideas of their own---Graphic novels, a volume of poetry, a collective of short stories, etc. They are known as the NaNoWriMo Rebels, and they are just as legit as "normal" novel writers, but whether or not they chose to validate their novel online (more about that here and here) is up to them and the staff. I myself am writing other works alongside my main novel, but for the most part, right now, it's just a novel. I've wanted to write a novel, it's what I've always aspired to do, and though I love being a rebel and love poetry and graphic novels, right now, I'm good. But that's just me.

Motivations and methods aside, NaNoWriMo is the perfect opportunity for authors like me to chat, swap info and ideas, support each other, and go on a fantastic, insomnia-caffeine-and-adrenaline-fueled writing adventure, so if such a crazy feat suits your tastes (sorry the notice is late, but I've been writing a novel, you see...and of course, that little bit about Lifezilla...) then grab your laptop, typewriter, or pen and paper (or sidewalk chalk and a wall is good too. Or finger paints. Whatever you like to write novels [or novel-sized works] with) and join us!