It is LATE. But I can't sleep, I have
writing to do! I would sacrifice nearing everything for that. Sadly, sometimes my own impulsiveness and obsessiveness gets in the way.
*sigh*
Sometimes, I just don't like myself. I really don't. No, I despise myself sometimes, and it burns me up inside. My own skin scalds caustically into my flesh, flesh into bone, and sometimes I just sit still and wait for it to burn me all the way down to my molecules and atoms, and disintegrate me. Maybe it'd stop aching so darn much.
It's not like there aren't times when I'm positively manic with glee or truly pleased with being myself. But there are so many times when its just a dull sort of numb at best and at worst I just want to curl up inside of my shell and be
gone (sorry, I've got TMNT on the brain* XD). I don't know if I have an answer to this situation. I really just keep praying and watching TV and reading and drawing and writing.
Yeah, just keep writing...
:)
*I'm currently craving 80's Cartoons, gritty b&w comics, turtle action figures, and pizza. Hmm, pizza...that would be nice right now...
Pizza gif courtesy of this place right here...
